his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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