Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think my moral compass just broke
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
