you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
