you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
