she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
