There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
