Michael Bay diarrhea
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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