she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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