Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
