I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
