Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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