hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
