WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
