Whod you bang
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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