She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
