youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
