Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
