we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
