I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
