I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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