Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
