Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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