is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
