What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it's like heaven, but drunker
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
