I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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