Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
