This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
