Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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