last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
