Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
