Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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