we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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