On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
