fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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