I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
