Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
