the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
