dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
