I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
