physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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