saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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