i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
