She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
