So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well