The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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