I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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