weddingsv make me drug and hornr
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
