i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
