Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
