...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...