i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him