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i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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