My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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