I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture