i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos