Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
