Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
