similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
