As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
birth control should be required to get into college
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
