I wish I could teleport
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
