they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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