I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
